Monday, September 20, 2010
Let me tell you a little bit about my situation when I first quit drinking and then you can decide for yourself. When I first got sober, about 16-years ago, I did it for my husband. I thought I wanted to quit so I could save my marriage, but I realized later, when reality hit, that I really didn’t want to quit drinking, but only wanted to appease husband and extended family.
I went into a rehab facility for 3-days and then went to a few Alcoholic’s Anonymous meetings, but because I was not getting sober for myself, sobriety only lasted a few weeks. I kept telling myself “reasons” why I could drink. Some of these reasons were really ridiculous but my mind was coming from an alcoholic perspective. The mind of an alcoholic does not “see” nor “understand” the depth of reality around them.
If the alcoholic is still in denial that they have a drinking problem, or if they are not ready to quit, or if they try and quit for someone else rather than for themselves, they will NOT be able to stay sober for any amount of time. If the alcoholic really wants to quit, they will through the power of God in their life. Only our Creator can save us from ourselves and free us from the wretchedness of this world.
I give thanks to God every day for giving me my life back! And I praise Him for making me whole in Jesus Christ! We can go to rehab, AA, counseling and our family can plead and beg for us to quit and threaten to leave us, but unless we’re convicted in our heart to quit because “we” want to quit it just won’t happen. Ah, yes, there are sober alcoholics walking around in society, but are they truly happy with their life? Are they truly free from the symptoms of an addicted mind?
God created us and He continues to breathe life into us, but some of us, especially those who are trapped within addiction are blowing God’s breath of life right back out—they have not yet accepted Christ—they are in bondage to addiction. The truth is we can walk this journey in life, stumbling around in the dark, hitting ourselves over the head in the process, or we can give up what is holding us back from God’s love for us.
We can humble our proud ways, and our wretched lives to Christ and begin to be the person that God intended for us to be—the person God intended for us to become in Him!! I’m a living, breathing testimony of God breathing life into me…if I didn’t have life I wouldn’t be able to give you this encouragement today. But God gave me back my life and He wants me to let you know there is a better way—His way!
Don’t waste another minute of your day, covering up your pain, your troubles, your past and your grief with alcohol. Give those things to Jesus and He will take care of your needs. But you have to trust Him. God knows your pain—He knocking at your door, but you have to answer the door and invite Him in.
God will give you peace and contentment…He says He will and I trust everything God says as true! Put your trust and faith in Him…today!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Do you love an alcoholic? How can you live with an alcoholic and love them at the same time? Very carefully. It’s true, it is very difficult to live with an alcoholic, but people do it all the time. Alcohol controls the mind and spirit of a person, so in affect as long as the alcoholic is drinking you will not get much love in return. Being married to an alcoholic is not a reason for divorce. It is reason for helping your loved one with the disease. Alcohol addiction is called the insidious disease for a reason. It breaks up homes, kills lives, and keeps them from discovering the Creator. Can it get anymore insidious than that?
A person who drinks excessively is called an alcoholic but that is not who they are. A person who drives a truck is called a trucker, but that is not who they are. I believe alcohol addiction to be a phase or transition of a person’s life, meaning it can be temporary. But many alcoholics become sober only to start drinking again, soon after, why? It is because they think they are in control of their addiction, but they aren’t. If a person truly wants to get sober and stay sober, they will.
The person behind the destruction and deception of alcohol is a totally different person when they have been sober for six months. A sober alcoholic can be a very loving and spiritual human being who is able to discern right from wrong and able to live a happy and abundant life. As long as the alcoholic remains drinking, his true character remains hidden from others, and will be under the control of the drink in every aspect of his life.
What can you do for the alcoholic in your life? The first step in helping them is to first help yourself. Become knowledgeable about the disease. Once you realize the impact of how your actions may be affecting the alcoholic in your life, you can detach properly from their destructive behavior. Detaching can be difficult to do but if you love the alcoholic and want to be supportive, detaching with love is the way to go.
Are you enabling your loved one to drink? Are you rescuing them from their problems and responsibilities? Ask yourself these questions to find out?
Am I doing anything that would enable the alcoholic to drink?
Am I doing anything that would facilitate the alcoholic’s behavior?
Am I doing anything that would rescue the alcoholic from his problems?
Am I getting driven into the disease with the alcoholic?
The only way to truly be supportive is don’t rescue, don’t enable, and don’t allow yourself to get driven into the disease with them. Here are some of the ways you enable the alcoholic.
You enable when you take up the slack for the alcoholic by doing their chores, duties and responsibilities. You enable when you give the alcoholic money or buy them booze.
You enable when you drink with them, or when you do anything to help the alcoholic to continue to live his alcoholic lifestyle and not realize that he has a drinking problem. If you do everything for him, how will he know?
Here are some of the ways you would rescue the alcoholic? You rescue when you sweep the alcoholic’s messes under the rug. The alcoholic NEEDS to be responsible for his own mess. You rescue when you lie for them. You rescue when you bail them out of jail or pay court fees for them.
Understand that the enabler/rescuer, which is you, help the alcoholic to continue drinking when you unintentionally become entangled within the deception of the disease with them. Remember, alcoholism is an insidious disease, and it will trap you in its grip if you allow it to. Don’t allow this to happen, or there will be no hope in the alcoholic to ever stop drinking.
How would you become driven into the disease with the alcoholic? By trying to control the alcoholic and how and when he drinks. By threatening the alcoholic with angry words and name calling, you are driving yourself into alcoholism. Don’t fuss, fight, argue, plead or try to control the alcoholic – it won’t work!
When the alcoholic spouse tells you they are sorry for anything bad they did against the marriage or you, they probably are really sorry, but that does not mean that it won’t happen again. An alcoholic can’t control their actions once they start drinking. The drinking is what makes them out of control and under the enslavement of the disease.
There is great hope for the alcoholic in your life, if you take care of yourself first, by not enabling, rescuing or getting driven into the disease. Once you are aware of what you should and should not do, you will be free to set boundaries for yourself in the home. An alcoholic will not abide by any boundaries, so it would be fruitless to try. You are setting boundaries for your own spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being, not the alcoholic’s. See part 2 on setting boundaries for you.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Try and find positive, happy people that know what you are going through, preferably who have been down the same road as you and are now sober and ready to support and encourage you in your sobriety. Try not to be alone too often, unless you are having quiet meditation and need the alone time. Happy people bring happiness to others.
Eat A Wholesome Diet
Eating whole foods can make a BIG difference in how you feel physically and will also affect how you feel mentally. Wholesome foods are always best when trying to maintain a clean life from drugs and alcohol. Limit sugar intake to a bear minimum. If you feel an absolute need to indulge in sugar, try “raw bees” honey, which you can find at farmers markets. Bee’s honey has minerals and vitamins in it and is an excellent substitute for white sugar and other processed sugars. FACT: Bee’s honey is sweeter than white sugar.
Take Up A Hobby
What do you enjoy doing, but feel you never have the time? Make time for the things you like and enjoy – you deserve it! Invest your time and energy in something you can be proud of doing. Whether it is a craft, building something, volunteering, or whatever it is you like to do, make the time and just do it. We need to feel good about “who we are” while being free of drugs and alcohol – the best way to do that is by doing things that we enjoy doing and that will give us a sense of accomplishment. We don’t need the crutch of drugs any longer because we CAN love the person God created us to be!
Idleness can be risky to an addictive personality. The little voice in our head rears its ugly horns and tells us its ok to “use” again, especially when we are bored, lonely, and or depressed. Find out what is going on in your community and get involved. If you enjoy meeting people, attend your AA meetings regularly. Seek friendships that enjoy the same recreations as you and ask them to be a support for you when you feel tempted. Get out and do something!
Help Others With Addiction
Reaching out to others and supporting them in their efforts of addiction can help the addict immensely. I believe when the time is right for the drug and or alcohol user to help others to stay clean is the number one factor in them remaining free of mind-altering substances. Helping others gives us a satisfaction that no other can.
Take An Online Course
Improving ourselves will help to maintain sobriety. There are many ways in which you can improve and enhance yourself. Taking an online course (trade) in something will keep your busy and also show you that you can do something without the need to be under the influence of mind-altering substances. Of course, we should never compare our abilities and skills with others, but we can compare ourselves with ourselves. Where are you at now in your sobriety? Set goals and work towards accomplishing something new for each goal you set. And by all means, have fun doing whatever it is you decide to do. Reach for the S T A R S !
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Alcohol and the Bible: New Expanded Version
"The saloon is a liar. It promises good cheer and sends sorrow. It
BIBLICAL USE OF THE WORD "WINE";
It is important to remember that in Bible days, the word "juice" was not
We often hear the term "alcohol and drugs." This is a false distinction,
THE IMPORTANCE OF EXAMPLE
In my experience in doing personal evangelism, I have made the